in my heart, there is no place i rather be

Saturday, June 23, 2007

I HAVE DECIDED TO MOVE!!!

i'm so out of here. found a better place to throw my thoughts.

relink! (:

http://twelfthrose.livejournal.com/

with love, CONSTANCE.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

i woke up today because i was having a terrible nightmare. i dreamt that i was killing a rabbit?

oh yes, the rabbit looks just like this. so cute and innocent right? it was super horrifying. what a way to start a brand new day.

anyway, i cleaned up my itunes + added new songs to my itunes + make my itunes look very neat. HOHO. so proud of myself. next up, i'm gonna pack my messy room (even though i claimed that i've packed it alreay, it is still very messy. lol. )

today's not a day of countless activites. studied a bit of chem here and there. atoms, molecules and stoichiometry. everything we do, start from the basics right? or wrong?

and then when i got so restless, caihui greets me with a packet of tau huay. (:

thank got for friends. :DDD

im so stuck to this Death Cab For Cutie's song.

Marching Bands of Manhattan

If I could open my arms

And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,

I'd bring it to where you are

Making a lake of the East River and Hudson

If I could open my mouth

Wide enough for a marching band to march out

They would make your name sing

And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.

I wish we could open our eyes

To see in all directions at the same time

Oh what a beautiful view

If you were never aware of what was around you

And it is true what you said

That I live like a hermit in my own head

But when the sun shines again

I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole

Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound

But while you debate half empty or half full

It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

Your love is gonna drown

Your love is gonna...

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

the three angels in my life..

gabrielle.

beatrice.

raenen.

they have brought so much joy into my life. just by being able to see them having fun, it's already one big major thing to celebrate about. i love rae boy, beatrice darling and little gabby!

i have yet to take an individual photo with gabby! haha. i think i'll wait till she gets a little older. cause i'm so afraid i'll irritate her when i hold her in awkward positions! haha.

i'm supposed to study today. SUPPOSED. we'll see how it goes. (:

Sunday, June 10, 2007

i typed a whole chunk on my random thoughts. then i decided to delete that lot away. meaningless. ha.

i'm excited with rapture! it'll be horrible to miss it! cause i know it's gonna be mind blowing. :D

went for ACCO's concert at vch yesterday with sarene darling. i-ming did a pipa solo! and i swear she looked super good on stage!

cam whoring before the concert. lol. typical.

after the concert!

i think i'll probably start a photo journal this holiday. ((: and i think i should start studying already. CT in like 2 weeks time. study group anyone?

this is just one of those days when constance just wants to be alone in her room. and no, i'm not falling into depression. there's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. i believe everyone will definitely have one such day, when we all breakaway from the world and enjoy the solitude.

uhuh. and then?

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

i took this when i went haji lane today with dawn the prawn. i think it's nice. but some people think otherwise. but, whatever it is, haji lane's my favourite now. ((:

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

the dance SYF video is finally out!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

SAJC DANCE. SYF 2007. LIBERTA (FREEDOM)

i'm so glad i'm part of this. and i'm so happy to be part of the awesome family of dancers in SAJC. I LOVE YOU ALL. been through thick and thin. all the little moments we have, the hardwork and sweat, i'll never forget. we've did our best, let's enjoy of fruit of our labour. :D

today is a happy day, because:
1) i managed to watch the SYF video. (AND, of course, managed to have a good laugh as well yesterday :D)
2) i understand what's going on during lesson. (GENERALLY)
3) i did someone a favour, by leading the person's mortal to her clues. (just in case you're wondering, o7S26's having this angel-mortal game, where angels have to do nice stuff/give something nice to their mortals.)
4) i woke up early today.
5) i had brownie (the ones i baked at Cuen's) for breakfast.
6) i printed cg tee stuff in the library. (my mum ALWAYS forgets to but the printer ink catridge)
7) dad picked me up after dance.
8) i ate KFC!
9) i did P.E. lol.
10) i placed photos into some photo frames which i bought a while ago from ikea.
11) i drank ribena!!!
12) i organised my worksheets, notes and tutorials. :DDDD

today may not be that happy a day, because:
1) i paid 2 freaking bucks for a 25 minutes bus ride. (i had no money in my ez link card. and i couldn't pay by coins because i was short of 5 cents. -.-)
2) i perspired a lot during P.E.
3) my rib bone hurt so much, that i feel the pain even walking, or laughing. (!!!)
4) i may need to see a doctor because of the excrutiating pain in my ribs.
5) i wasn't able to really dance. )))))):
6) i did not go queensway after dance.
7)i forget to print my calendar!!!!!!
8) i didn't bring my Chemistry TYS to school.
9) i was told by Mr. Wong that we'll be having a Chemistry make-up tutorial on monday (which is the start of the long awaited holidays).
10) i slept for a while during Chemistry Lecture
11) i realise that i may not be able to attend some sessions during EMERGE due to dance commitments in school.
12) ********* :(

SOOOO, overall, its a pretteh okay day. -.- HAHA. 12 vs. 12.

i feel the pain in my ribs. seriously. i don't dare to go the docs! ARG! but i need some pain killers for dance tomorrow. no matter what, i'm so gonna dance tomorrow. LOLLY.

i wanna change my phone with my mum's current one. heh heh.

and someone please remind me to get geog notes tomorrow mans.

and and i need to buy my bus concession!

and and and i am excited for this sunday's OG20 (PAE) outing!

end.

Friday, May 18, 2007

sometimes, have you felt like no one cares you when you call for help? when you scream, and yet no one hears you? where do you go to, when you're desperate, disappointed and frustrated? when all else fails, what do you do?

okay people. the above is just a random train of thought. been thinking a lot lately. maybe because life has been so hectic, there's no time to breathe. and when there's no time to breathe, you feel so restricted and contained. and you think of weird stuff? hahaha!

anyway, i think this week is a rollercoaster week. don't ask me why. people in SA should know.

when life's a rollercoaster, learn to enjoy in while riding.

tuesday was studying date with i-ming! and we studied MATHEMATICS, to be exact, graphing techniques. we were like trying ot figure out why this graph looks like this and how to draw that graph. and then, we got so tired and so we played with i-ming's photobooth!!!

photobooth is love la. i-ming, we shall continue our collection our next study date alrights! :DDDDDDDDD

rapture tickets update: night show is sold out! left with tickets for matinee. please secure your tickets asap if you really wanna come. ((:

took this picture when we're bothe making our way to i-ming's. i quite like this picture. gonna try editing it. (: [i-ming, you look like a emo kid. :D]

hmmm. gotta go catch some sleep now. tomorrow's a long long day. take care everyone!

till then.

when all else fails, i depend on god. (:

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Candleburn

On Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night

For someone

She lets herself go

Like an angel in the snow

She lays down on her back

Down on her back - she goes

Take me over when I'm gone

Take me over make me strong

Take me over when I'm gone

Will they burn for me

On Vineland past the candle shrine that melts into the street design

She waits - for someone

Tonight she'll give herself away

She'll break apart all by herself

Its so easy how we come undone

Take me over when I'm gone

Take me over make me strong

Take me over when I'm gone

Will they burn for me

She pulls me in - strips me down

She pulls me in - turns me out

She pulls me in - strips me down

Take me over when I'm gone

Take me over make me strong

Take me over when I'm gone

Will they burn for me
Will they burn for me

god knows where this road will lead to. i don't. do you?

hah. accusations, assumptions and all that crap. when will it end?

thank you, for the beautiful lie.

hoho. did i mention that constance failed her napfa test? stupid inclined pull ups. i did 0. i know it's hard to imagine, but yah. i did okay for the rest la! as in, i would have passed if i just do 3 freaking pull ups. argh. whine whine whine.

on a side note, i went ikea with my mum today after dropping by queensway sc. and my mum decided to be generous and bought me some stuff that i claimed would help me organise my life and room. i got this magnetic board to replace my old, and ugly cork board. and i got some other random stuff too. muahaha. revamping in progress yo! i'm so gonna throw all those useless worksheets away. :DDDDDD

and update! j1 dancers are not doing the rjc fund raising concert anymore. so happy! and miss tan thought we would be upset when she announced the news to us. omg. i could not have been more happy. it's so rushed. and i think we shouldn't like perform an unprepared item, especially when the person in charge is so pissed with us. lotsa miscommunication and stuff, and i won't go into details. but, the bottomline is, WE'RE NOT RUSHING FOR TIME ANYMORE. but, on the other hand, morning has broken item has to be the main focus now. hurr.. i hope mrs chia doesn't force us to go on pointe. my toes will die. =x

i wonder if anyone will come up with this tracking device to see who actually reads your blog, some what like the one in friendster. because i wonder who bothers reading. okay.i know that was pretty random. i'm random. ((:

oh yes. did i mention that i spilled sulphuric acid on myself during SPA? i screwed the whole SPA la. i think i was like too nervous and was trying so hard to be careful. in the end, i created more problems for myself. and for the last question, i just missed by one step. HOW GREAT. so much for the first SPA in my JC life. !!!

constance need to cut her hair. it looks like grass now. STEPHIE!!!! hahahah.

randomness! i don' really like school. especially, when you don't understand a single thing half the time.

ohwells.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

080507. today is a special day. (:

oh well. did i mention that i have SYF withdrawal symptom? yes yes. suddenly, life seems so empty. literally. but good thing there's rature to keep all of us busy. the fund raising item's killing all the J1s because apprently, we've not finished the choreography! and that is really bad. AND, morning has broken. the man with the, ahem, BEAUTIFUL husky voice. lol. so little time!

today i went queensway sc with michy and victor to check out details about 07s26's pullovers! we're gonna do grey pullovers yo! :DDD super excited! and and, probably gonna make cell group tee as well! i seem to love all these stuff. i guess it gives us an identity? i think. that's how i feel la.. in a way, unity is developed. i ate ikea's swedish meatballs after that! yum! and i bought ballerina cookies from ikea too! LOVE LOVE LOVE.

xoxo. so cute right. i'll love him forever. (:

will be going CPIB tomorrow. missing lessons from one onwards! GOOD. BUT, i'll miss technique class. ): i wanna danceeeeeeeeeeeeeee. anyway, peeps who wanna come for SA dance concert, please pass me the money soon to secure seats! :DD

i'm gonna spam this post with pictures plenty!

i just so love all of them.

i-ming is love. <3!

oh! those bangs. haha!

caihui, cuen! sandwiched in between.

LOVE.

i'm tired of waiting for my retarded laptop to load the pictures up. i'll continue soon!

gotta go catch some sleep. z monster chasing! RUN.

Friday, May 04, 2007

RAPTURE 2007.
Date /Day : 21st July 2007, Saturday
Time : 1400 hr (Matinee) and 2000 hr (Night Show)
Ticket Price : $16 for Matinee, $20 for Night Show
Those who wish to go, please let me know and pass me the money ASAP to secure tickets! (((((:
SUPPORT SAJC DANCE. :D

LIFE HAS BEEN STRESSFUL. and i doesn't help when you have to rush for project work PI for like 4 days in a row. i'm actually still feeling quite insecure about my PI. but, no point dwelling on it now. cause i just handed it up. bleah. AND, that dumbass jeffrey just had to decide to redo his PI at the last minute. what's the best thing is, he didn't ask for an extention. -.-!

tests and more tests coming up. and guess what? constance know nuts about summation, chemical bonding and market failure. constance is so gonna die and retain and rot in SAJC for 10 years, just to finish the JC course.

time is running fast away. yes i know this line is from the school song. whatever it is, i'm seriously so short of time! when i get home, it's already so late. and when i start doing my homework or revising my work, i'll eventually fall asleep on the table because i'm alread so dead tired. i can't even find a solution now. i need to study. i so need to study. but when?!

sometimes i think people really take things for granted. like, when you have it, you don't cherish it. but when you don't, you want it like nobody's business. that's what i feel now. some people really have so much time i the world, yet they are not utilizing it to the fullest to achieve their maximum potential. i feel very frustrated about that. even if no one else feels this way, i know dawn the prawn does. so i can just run to her with tears and complain to her. she totally understands. i love her laaa.

i need a locker, seriously. my back is aching from all the heavy books and notes and whatever that is in my bag.

random misses : I-MING, SARENE, HEIDI, CHERYLNN, VANESSA, SHUHAN, ANDREA, GUAN JIE, NICOLE TWIN, XIN MIN, WAN JOO, DAWN THE PRAWN, AMANDA LIM.

haiyo. i really wanna make time for these people. i so wanna meet them and talk to them and bitch to them about whatever that's in my mind. sigh.

don't compromise, constance. keep on keeping on.

dawn the prawn, i need a hug tomorrow. :D

Thursday, April 26, 2007

GOLD and proud of it.

we all believe people have eyes to see and brains to think for themselves what is good, and what's not. i felt unjustified because what i thought was horrible, earned them a honours. they so don't deserve it. but who cares anymore now. dance is subjective. and i still believe sajc dance is dancing not for anyone, but ourselves. we gave our all, and we didnt regret. nothing mattered anymore, when we know we made an impact on others when we danced. when we know that we sent people tearing, and hair standing, and zaki's praising us that we made him proud on that UCC stage, nothing mattered anymore.

so today's a day of crying and tearing, because of unfairness, unjustification. but i guess, it really really doesn't really matter anymore.

many thanks to zaki for his wonderful choreography and the trust he have in us to take on such a mature piece of music. thanks to miss wee, who drilled us so much on our techniques and make us look so professional on stage. thanks to miss tan, mrs chia, miss lee for taking care of us this period, and always being with us. thanks to all seniors who came back to help us before and on that day itself. thanks to all who kept sa dance in their prayers. thanks to the school for being so supportive. thanks to everyone who sent their best wishes and encouragments to us. thanks to god, who made everything possible.

thanks, thanks, thanks. (:

come watch rapture, 21st july 2007 @ mediacorp. tickets selling through SA dancers only. come and see what we are made of. :DDDD

i love SAJC Dance. one family unbroken.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

25th APRIL! DANCE SYF! :DD

i went to school with a fever and really bad sore throat. survived the first hour. and before i knew it, when i started dancing, i felt okay and everything was gone.

dance is my remedy. :DD

today is a happy day! practice at the hall before the competition was fantastic! everything was in place i thought! emotions, steps, blocking. it felt good. and we all felt ready for it.

then we had all the buslte, rushing for make-up etc. everyone's like panicking cause mrs chia's always going, "__ MORE MINUTES DANCERS!" so intimidating. and, she kept saying 10 more minutes. its like the 10 minutes never comes. lol. that was quite hillarious. ANYWAY, despite of all the bustle, i managed to snap some pictures! :DD

amandawn! lols!

MANDA!

weirdy and chin chow! (:

before the competition, when we were warming up and waiting for our turn at UCC, i bet all SA's dancers were feeling super uber nervous la. i feel it in the atmosphere. backstage, when were wear supposed to get to the right hand side of the stage, i was holding nettie's hand cause apparently both of us were like so nervous.

BAM. we went on stage and do what we practised! 6 months, for just that 6-7 minutes on stage. but, i'm telling you, the 6 months is all worth it. ((: we all felt good after the item! miss tan said it was hair raising, zaki said we made him proud on stage. :DDDDDDDDDDDDD major happiness.

actually, i don't mind not knowing the results. cause this is all i need i guess. but on the other, i would wanna know where SAJC dance stand in Singapore. international judges, standard raised. i'm opening my heart and accepting whatever that comes my way. because i know we'll all give each other support, like how we gave before SYF. ((:

then back to the studio, it was more cam whoring. kris even gave us a time-limit for cam whoring. LOL.

J1s!

WEIRDY VEEKAY!

and then it was PASTA MANIA with the darlings, dawn the prawn and manda! amanda left after dinner to study at home! while dawn and i went spotlight and didn't want to leave. typical. :D

dawn with her new bag. haha! the mirror's dirty!

RESULTS TOMORROW. dancers, see you around screaming tomorrow!

i love dance. :D i know it and i know it.

do your best, and let got do the rest. :)) we did.

Monday, April 23, 2007

HOHO.

thanks to those who wished me happy birthday and those who made my birthday such a special birthday, one that is full of so many surprises. if i didn't remember you, let me know! BIG thanks to nicole twin, dale, jingfa, kaishing, jj, cuen, caihui, wenshan, junyong, hong jie, tianlong, pohmeng, lothars, N371, i-ming, gj, cherylnn, shuhan, andrea, stephanie lee, casherine, vivian, calanthea, peiyu, michelle ma, michelle ng, kok kin, lionel, abel, glenn, daryl, aaron dao, wei shing, wei kang, ying jie, 07s11(PAE), kenn, daniel chua, tong neng, jonathan chan, 07s26(JAE), jan, eunice, heidi, sarene, alex cheng, jillian, minghan, joel ong, chuhong, theresa, jia yun, almeric, matheus, wai mun, shuqian, martin, xinmin, nicholas wong, wan joo, jiehao, sijia, kenbin, geri, amanda lim(4e4), dawn bey, amanda lim(sajc), germaine, sajc dance seniors, whoever who wished me on friendster.

today's a happy day i guess. although there's dance at UCC from 6 to 8 pm. but i felt that my day was well spent. i started my day feeling neutral. but my dear friends in school made my day so special. (: thanks guys. i so love the 'cake-fight' although i thought i almost killed all of you all. haha. and i love the BIG card that you all made!

my personal zoo. jonathan gave it to me. LOL. i like the elephant and cow.

trackback! on friday night, i almost died when i reach home from cellgroup. at an unearthy hour at about 12.30 am, 5 people were like hiding in my room. and when i opened the door, they screamed,"SURPRISE!" thanks to all of them, i threw my bag somewhere and fell to the ground. say hello to my friends, nicole, dale, jingfa, kaishing and jj. wtb. but i was so happy la. as in, i was surprised. and i felt very loved. ironic, but yeah. you get the point. they got me the crumpler bag i've been eyeing on. mastermind: NICOLE LOU KAY LI. lols. thanks everyone.

and and and. i had my first birthday cake on sunday! dearest cuen baked for me chocolate brownie! it's so delicious i'm telling you, you'll be back for more. it's so pretty and it's a pity that i don't have my camera with me that day. but i love it! (:

and, as i said, i had a cake war today. thanks for stuffing cream up into my nostrils and making me so dirty and sticky people. lol. but i had fun. and i felt loved and encouraged. thanks guys! constance is all set to fight!

yeah. fight, how to when i'm running a fever at this point of time. LOL. so contradictory. i think UCC is cursed. everytime i come back from there, i fall sick. so i predict that i will on thursday. but i'm so gonna drag my ass to school, even if i were to die there, to hear the SYF's results. yeah man. cool. 2 more days. LET'S GO DANCE! we'll make it. :DD

thanks again to everyone from the bottom of my heart. constance is loved.

and.. i thought, hah.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

i just need to blog.

i have been rather stressed out recently, due to a lot of commitments, pressures and expectations. time is running fast away. and seriously speaking, i'm feeling very afraid. dance has been hectic. and i understand why. i totally do. but it's this contradiction that i face. the heart is willing, but the flesh is weak. there is just too much expectations from people around and i'm feeling the pressure. i know this is inevitable. i know pressure improves people. but i am worn out. inside out. i know this will be temporary. and i will press on. definitely. i really hope i'll be able to make time for my loved ones. i don't want to compromise anything, be it friendships or my relationship with god. sometimes, i feel i need to break away. because i really feel like i'm going through this viscious cycle that i will never get out of. and this sucks.

HOLD ON, PRESS ON CONSTANCE.

i just need an outlet. thanks to those people who were standing by me all this while , no matter whether you tried cheering me up or if you listened to my rantings and complaints. you all know who you are. thanks, from the bottom of my heart.

SYF's is in like 22 days. 25th april=d day. i really pray with all my heart that everything will go on smoothly. COME ON FELLOW DANCERS! WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. AND WE WILL WORK TOGETHER TO DO NOT ONLY THE SCHOOL, BUT OURSELVES PROUD! JUST 22 MORE DAYS. LET'S KEEP ON PERSEVERING. WE CAN DO IT. :))

life is not a bed of roses. but i would very much want to plant my roses now.

i know and i know and i know that hardwork pays off.

"Where'd You Go?" - Fort Minor

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but the trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot
Workin' my day around the call
But when I pick up I don't have much to say

So, I want you to know it's a little f*ed up
That I'm stuck here waiting at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile
But now, you only stop by every once and a while
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doin' fine
I plan to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say

And I'll tell you
I want you to know it's a little f*ed up
That I'm stuck here waiting at times debating
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little f*ked up
That I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses
For why you're not around
And feeling so useless
It seems one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

and i really remember everything...

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

not so good life.

haha. i hope i'm alread getting used to everything thats around me. new class, new faces and all that. but of course i still do miss everyone in OG20(pae) and 07s11(pae). a lot in fact. but its life that one must carry on right? haha. this is not meant to be an emo post. but well, yeah.

i hope calanthea's okay though. take care my dear. we'll all be there for you! (:

i think i seriously need sleep. i'm feeling tired all the time lah. cannot concentrate during lectures, and that's not a good thing. i should really really start studying! yeah. easier said than done.

reply to tags!
caihui: HELLO! haha. tell me about EVERYTHING on friday (:
peiyu: im okay now! thanks for being there! :DD
nicole: TWIN! i'm happy that you like it! haha
lothars: haha! next time i'll call you loud loud!
jolina: :D!
i-ming: YA LA! miss you alread can! pls go out soon!!!
ruey-lin: yes i'm doing well! thanks for caring! (: i miss you all too. when's SYF? maybe we'll go help you all out! :D
calanthea: i love you CAL CAL! (: take care alrights! see you tomorrow!
eunice: oh yes. it did. hahaa!
ben: haiyo. you don't like that la. that time when we multiplied i was sad too! haha. the love's around! lol!
tianlong: don't anyhow say lor! LOL.

i'm in love with this wallet from River Island la. i-ming knows! lols. love it. and and this pair of cool converse sneaks from Leftfoot. i heard it's imported la! nice leh. haha!

Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Keep holding on
Keep holding on
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

cal got me stucked to this song when she played it on her phone the other day. love it.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Rivermaya - You'll Be Safe Here

Nobody knows
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine

And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall i be

Chorus:
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here

Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong

And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here

When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here

emoness, is killing me.

sometimes i really don't understand myself. i know very well that i shouldn't be allowing myself to fall into the dark pit. yet, i keep seeing myself going towards that direction. i very much want to stop. but i just dunno what to do. history repeats itself. i don't want it to repeat itself.

cherishing is something that one will only learn when one starts losing something/someone. i think i was just being very selfish. and so self-centered to the point where i don't really care how other feels until something happens. and that will probably wake the selfish constance up to see what i've so much caused. i think what i need is a shell. to hide in and live my life in so that, whatever i do, will not cause any hurt to anyone. sometimes, i really envy tortoises and turtles. but then again, that will mean that i'm running away from the problems and refusing to find a solution to it.

oh god, help.

if i've been boring you, i'm so sorry. i just need an outlet to release.

omg. i'm feeling so emo these few days la. and it just gets worse by the day. the more i see and listen, the more i'm emotional.

haha. i'm just used to typing haha after every single line i say.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

just a few days, my blog, or rather my tag-board, has had quite a lot of thing going on.

i wanna reply to tags in my post. cause apparently i feel that it'll be like quite long. lol. here goes.

jolina: YES! i updated! see you soon dearies.
siying: HAHA! yes yes! (:
Passer-By: haha. i like that way you say things. thanks, but don't have to care about passer-by anymore. (: thanks for standing up for me. byt he way, you are?
fiona: see you around! haven been seeing you. thanks!
jun yong: ... hahah.
tianlong: haha. laxing!!
nicholas: oh yes. i'm so in SA. lol.
cherylnn: DARLING! yes pls. meet up soon! (: thanks for standing up for me. i love you!
gj: don't need to care him/her okay? not worth it.. thanks anyway.. i delete your post k? don't want you to expose you number..
justus: what crap la you. haha. full of crap can. ya, try telling the govt that. haha! thanks!
passer-by: your immaturity amazes me. the only reason why you're not using your name is because you know very well yourself that you're talking nonsense. you're so so freaking afraid that people know who you are and condemn you of being a loser. i'm so sorry. with or without name, your still a capital L, loser. get a life and do things that are more productive and constructive. stop wasting my time, everyone else's time and your time. if you're so not happy, or if you hate me so much, jolly well get lost. i don't need some loser around my life to boost my self-worth. thanks, but no thanks.

and to everyone else, continue to tag me! and ignore whoever's creating trouble. (:

i'm back from malaysia. short short short trip. haha. i did my new specs. didn't managed to do funkaye colours cause apparently, my dad says those suck on me. i tried like lime green, yellow and some weird blue. in the end i chose a black full frame. haha. but i like it! my dad says i look nerd in it. :DD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIN! don't feel old okay! one more year to CLEO! xD LOL!

going out very soon to go celebrate. i hope she gets surprised with the gift! hahaa.

so i went to school for orientation on friday. OG12, was rather fun actually i think. because i've got cal cal and alicia with me. so i think it was alright. beginning was super sian. then out OG got damn high after that. i was with OG20(PAE) for disco night. the feeling and atmosphere was so different. it was less high, probably due to the fact that xin min wasn't there. MAN, i miss her can. it may be also due to the songs choice also la. so well, got really really emo after that at macs with OG20. cried cried and cried. i think i cried like 10000 buckets. the thought of not having some of themin SA makes me very very sad. ):

OG20: i love you all! you all are the first friends i made in SA, and i really enjoy all the times we had together. those sweet memories and random jokes will always be kept in my heart. as we go our separate ways, i really hope we'll still do lots of catching up okay! i'll be constantly praying for all of you. don't give up okay! miss you all.

there's a war going on at my house now.. i need my bullet vest!

hope everyone's doing fine!

with Him, all things are possible.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

CONSTANCE MAKES HER GRAND ENTRANCE.

hello world. i've been away for so long and i really have a lot of things that i wanna say, because i've been feeling so much these days.

so yes. as you all have already known. posting results were out. and guess what. i was posted to somewhere i least expect myself to have gone to. when i saw the results, i was like OMG, and too shocked and surprised (not in a good way), until i don't really know how i should react to it. BAM. reality hits me. and i didn't expect myself to cry outside the GO. so to whomever who saw the ugly side of constance, i'm sorry.you know, i wasn't really crying because i'm not in SA. that's part of the reason why i did cry. but the major reason as to why i cried, i think, was most probably because of the thought that i wouldn't be able to see my SA mates for a few days, and not only that, miss orientation. i love 07S11, and you guys know it. i miss OG20. and no other OG's gonna replace it. so probably, that was what really triggered the tear glands in me.

this is gonna be mostly an emo post. i'm sorry.

to my loveliest, sweetest 07s11: life in SA will never be the same without you guys. you all cheer me up when i'm down; when i cry, you all cry with me, when i laught, you guys laugh harder. everyone of you all has a special place in my heart. we do crazy things together (remember the sms we sent to miss sim? :D), get scolded for ponning class/lecs together. you all make me love SA so much more. i feel that we're not only a class, we've become a family. i would never ever trade anything for the time we had together as a class. i'll miss you all so so so much. for some of us, if we're not in the same class anymore, please make sure that you won't forget me (write my name on your mirror or something). and for those whom i will be with in the same class, 2 more wonderful years together (and i'm sorry if you were wishing you would be in a different class as me. :P). I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALL LIKE TRUCKLOADS, PLANELOADS SHIPLOADS.

well, i'm really feeling very emo these days. went for orientation in a foreign school i rather not go yesterday. and let me tell you, its rather boring and senseless. my heart was in SA, come on. but of course, i made some new friends, who actually made me life a little better over there. guess what. the school actually make the J1s go for this leadership course during the orientation. and they actually have to pay for it. OMG. thank god i'm so out of that place.

i have so many randome misses. I MISS TWIN! I MISS I-MING! I MISS N371! I MISS OG20! I MISS 07S11 (1ST INTAKE)! I MISS 4E406!

aww..

i need to change blogskin. although i really like tw previous one a lot. haha.

anyway, i decided to give orientation in SA a miss, cause i was feeling so sick in the morning. BAH. i hate that sick feeling. it makes you lie on the bed and not move for like 25498752313 hours. i'll go SA tomorrow okay! make sure all you people i miss come!!!! DISCO NIGHT. we're gonna rock the place down. :DDDD

and and and. during the days of my hibernation (from blogger), i took lots and lots of pictures! nice pictures. (:

pretteh pictures eh. poised! (:

and i so love this song now. no one's gonna stop me from typing the lyrics here.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

emo.

by the way, say hi to my tag board.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANESSA! ((: my phone got quite screwed. i can't send anything out with my phone. i had to change sim card to my brother's phone larrr. so hope you like see this okay! :D

anyway, its gonna be lunar new year soon. in erm.. about two and a half hours time. i don't actually have the very cny mood. kinda dead this year.i didn't get any new clothes either. i'll make up for it after cny! LOL!

went for dinner with my dearest yesterday. wanted to catch a movie. but it was like sold out. so we rented a room instead and watched 'John Tucker Must Die'. i watched that before, but i didn't mind watching it again cause it was seriously hell funny. its like worse than mean girls. haha!

school had been rather predictable, although sometimes there's surprises. i still love 07s11 so much. i'll prolly cry when 6th march comes. i never want to change my environment now lar. it'll take me a long time to get used to it all over again.

i'm feeling emo now. whatever it is, HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

i have decided to blog finally, after 23859406972 years. probably due to the release of 'o' level results. i think i did pretty bad. well, what i can say is, i feel quite disappointed with myself and what i had gotten. everyone else around me kept on telling me that it's a fine score, and that i did pretty good already. maybe because i didn't meet my own expectations that i had for myself. that's why this is hitting me so hard. sometimes i really don't know whether expecting something is a bad thing or a good one. when you achieved your expectation, your self-confidence gets boosted. but when you don't, you fall hard, really hard.

putting that aside, i'm so happy for my fellow friends who did very well.
stephanie, i'm so happy happy happy for you! ((: stay in SA okay?! if not, i'll kill you!
i-ming, don't worry so much already okay! in my eyes you did very very well! i'm so so proud of you already.
andrea, you smart girl. i always knew that you could do it! (:
cherylnn, you did well already! dont keep thinking of it okay?! you got my dream score. haha.
michelle, you did a great job! pray about where to go alrights! :D

...and a lot a lot of other people. everyone did well. :DD

so yeah. i'm happy for everyone. haha. updates!

1. i got super a lot of bruises and blisters after going for dance practices. the seniors said that i have to get used to it. haha.

2. stephanie came back from canada, to join me in school!

3. i was posted to 07s11. and apparently, i LOVE the class, like crazy. we are a family! ((:

4. i walked the whole 3.6km for cross country. =X

5. i officially pon my first maths lecture to practice dance. HOHO.

6. i wore ij and cedar's uniforms.

7. we (07s11) took crazy pictures. i'll upload them once i get them from the peeps.

8. had many many crazy dinner dates with i-ming! (:

9. finally get to meet up cher!

10. i screwed my chem test, like seriously.

11. i fell in love with the small but expensive crumpler bag, and a black puma duffle.

12. i developed photos!

13. i'll be having class bbq on monday, and then og bbq on tuesday. x)

14. i need to meet steph up to do THE STUFF.

15. i gave up on my stupid creative mp3. it refueses to switch itself on.

16. my parents have decided to get me an ipod! OMG.

17. i have to go for dance practice now.

thats all! (: take care everyone.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

i was talking to twin today. and she showed me how much her appearance have changed over the years. i was pretteh amazed by it eh. i didn't actually even realised it, probably due to the fact that i see her almost everyday. i didn't believe the picture she sent me was acutally her. the magnitude of my unbelief was like HUGE. but this really triggers me to think.

change.

i definitely believe that people do change over time, because of different situations, circumstances and even people. i remember once, twin told me about her friend who was a really nice person a few years ago, charming and of good character. a few years later, he got into wrong company, and even learnt how to smoke and drink. some people change for the better, some people change for the worse. that's the true hard reality we all have to accept. people do change whether we like it or not..

how do i accept change when i don't even know how i will be like after that?

well, on a lighter note, i managed to get the pictures for Oscars D & D from eunice bb! like i've said, it was a blast and i enjoyed myself. let the pictures do the talking.

i really really love all these people. ((((:

anyway, school has been great! had lotsa fun. by the way, OG20 is like way cool, and like the best people around! and of course nermelha is like the most outstanding kingdom ever. i love them love them love them. HAHA. the beginning of the first day was rather odd. i guess all of us just can't get used to the unfamiliar surroundings.then it got better an better. OG20 became like super united and super invincible. YEAH! i made new friends that have made my orientation a really enjoyable one.

the second day, we had mass dance. it was pretteh fun! LOL. we also had outdoor games which i think bonded OG20 very well. we had dinner at plaza sing after that.

the third day was like more camera whoring and more fun with the peeps! we painted like glass candle holders. and i really love the one xinmin and i painted.

we had disco night for finale. it was HOT. hahaha! all of us had lotsa fun dancing and running around. had supper with some of the peeps at macs after the finale.

school is cool, because of these people. awaiting school tomorrow! ((: it'll be good. i wanna get the college t-shirt!!! :D

a family unbroken. saints forever.